called_lioness | (no subject)

(no subject)

The hike to the castle is easy enough. It would likely have taken less time if Mary hadn’t been curious and wanted to stop and look at some of the older trees.

But that’s what holidays are about, really.

The plan is to ride to Port Caynn tomorrow and swim in the sea before spending the night at an inn of…slightly dubious reputation. (Alanna assures her it’s safe now. Lucy makes a note not to mention any former smugglers to Archibald Craven.)

But tonight is for camping, and as the evening approaching Lucy heads out to stroke her borrowed mare’s neck and make sure the supplies are all ready.

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"I think it's true," she says fiercely and pulls Mary a bit closer.

"And I know they shall be."

"Do they know yet?" Mary asks, after a moment.

"That you are going?"

"No."
There's a sigh in that.

"Caspian must agree first."

"Agree to what?"

Mary sits up, straight and suddenly edgy; will Lucy not leave if Caspian asks her?

"To leave with me."

"And what shall you do if he does not?"

Lucy doesn't want to think on that.

It's not fair not to answer.

"I think," she whispers finally, "I'll tell him that I've stayed for those very dear to me for a long time and I've need of my rest. And that I'll miss him dearly, but I won't stay. And I'll give him his ring back."

There's a stab of satisfaction at that.

If Mary isn't going to get to keep her, no one else is getting to keep her either.

"And if he stays," she says, putting pieces together, "you think that the dragons may choose to stay with him instead."

"No. No, it just--it would be unfair to tell them before my husband, I think," she says after a moment.

There's a pause.

"But . . . you told me first."

"Aye."

Just that, as she closes her eyes.

Another pause.

And then Mary says, very very small, "I am glad that you did."

"I am too," Lucy says back quietly and doesn't open her eyes.

Just presses her face to Mary's hair.

"So glad. If--"

If I could stay

If I could be more

If I could have a daughter she'd be like you

If I could bear it I would

If is a thousand million statements of not-is, and so Lucy kisses Mary again and cradles her close and doesn't make herself not cry for the moment.

"Lady Mary. Lioness to be if ever I knew one," she whispers and it's some of the ifs that make her do so.

Mary remembers telling Lucy that she wanted to be a Lioness - a Lioness because she wanted to be like Lucy.

"I am yellow," she says, aloud, "and I am fierce. Though I hit instead of biting. I will be some kind of Lioness, I think."

But not, perhaps, quite exactly the same kind as Lucy. The same kind in a lot of ways, she thinks, but not exactly the same.

Because Mary has a garden and a tree, and a cousin, and best friends, and she is not going to leave them until she is pulled away kicking and screaming.

(She thinks this, not yet understanding - accepting more, but not understanding - that Lucy essentially is.)

"You are yellow," she murmurs, "and you are fierce. And you love with all your heart when love you do, and have faced witches and walked with warriors. And you serve the Lion, when you love your garden. You will be one. And I will be so very proud."

There's a soft kiss before she finishes, "I already am. So very proud of thee, my dear and lovely Lady Mary."

Mary still doesn't understand why Lucy would be proud of her - not really. It is only what she is.

And she still hates Lucy a little, for leaving; and she still thinks that if she really wanted, she could have stayed -

But all the same, she can say, and say honestly, looking up at Lucy, "I am glad of it."

Lucy smiles, a very little, and kisses Mary's forehead.

And there are other things they'll do, and they'll stay another night, even if Mary won't smile so brightly when she gets the first started the second time--

But for now she just holds the smaller girl and rests her cheek on her hair and listens to birds sing as she watches the trees.

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