called_lioness | (no subject)

"You should," she agrees, flopping onto her back on the bed. "It really was perfect. I need to get them a gift still," absently. She nudges him with her knee after a moment and grins again, if she'd ever stopped. It's possible she hasn't. "And when are you going to make an honest woman of me, hmm?"

The smile that had been growing stops, and though Caspian doesn't look angry, or unhappy, or shocked, there is a sudden pause.

She's still smiling, though, and so his voice stays light.

"Quite a question."

Her grin fades, though it doesn't disappear, and she sits up again and pulls her knees up, watching him.

"I was teasing you, you know."

"Some things, Lu," he says, softly though not angrily, "should not be teased about."

She looks away and shrugs after a moment, carefully keeping her voice light. "Well, it would be rather awkward if I asked you seriously, wouldn't it?"

"I'm supposed to do the asking, I think," he says, with a small smile. His voice is a little rueful.

"I suppose it was teasing with Adam and Alanna, as well, was it?"

"I'm sorry," she says softly, before looking back at him and shrugging again, smiling crookedly. "I didn't mean to--well, I'm sorry. And rather, yes."

"Lu..."

It's mostly a sigh, though it's a little bit of a laugh, and there's a small smile back at her as he rubs at the back of his neck.

"I'm not Adam, you know. And don't be sorry."

It isn't as though the subject hasn't been on his mind.

"Well, thank God for that," she says, possibly with a bit more passion than is needed. "I don't--" She sighs and rubs the back of her neck for a moment before looking at him and smiling again. "I just thought you'd laugh, or threaten me that you would when the twins stopped tormenting you, or something. So I'm sorry that I teased over something I shouldn't have, and you can't make me not be," a bit playfully.

"Then I am sorry not to," he says, looking over at her, and there is only warmth in the sea-gray eyes.

"Though why you might have thought I would laugh is rather beyond me, I admit."

He is sure that Adam and Alanna laughed, and he shifts a little uncomfortably.

"And I don't suppose the twins will ever stop tormenting me."

"They might...someday. And because--well, you didn't, so it doesn't matter, I suppose," she finishes cheerfully and flops backward again, hands behind her head. "Shan't again."

"No?" he says, running a hand over her stomach and smiling.

"Never again?"

His eyes trace her face, and though he is smiling, the expression in them is unreadable.

"I am sorry that I missed Adam and Alanna's wedding, though there was no way anyone could have known about it."

She picks up his hand and kisses his fingertips, lightly, without saying anything in response to his question.

"It really was lovely. I was happy to stand behind them. He brought her roses," smiling a little, "and I think she was trying not to sneeze."

"At least he didn't have to kiss her awake, from out of a glass coffin," Caspian replies, reasonably, and traces the curve of her cheek with his fingertips.

"I'm glad. Truly. And glad that you were there as well, for both of your friends."

Lucy smiles at the touch and says, "No, it was a far less eventful proposal than that. And...it was a little strange," she admits. "But most things about my relationship with Adam have been, so it was fitting, that way. And I'm very glad I was there. I don't know that I would have thought I'd be, if I'd been invited and had time to think about it, but--I was."

"Would you not have wanted to be there?"

He watches her, leaning back on one hand while the other strokes lightly over the hair tucked behind her ear.

She's quiet for several moments before saying, "I don't know. I'm...I'm very happy for them, and I wouldn't wish it otherwise, but I don't know that if it had been different that I would have felt comfortable, or...I did love him, you know," she says finally, looking at the ceiling. "Still do, really, though not in the same way. And it's good, the way it is. Sometimes I think about--about why it ended, though, and it hurts, a bit. Not like it did, but a bit. And I think it might have hurt, if it had been something I'd thought about for a very long time before it happened."

"I see," says Caspian, and he does, and maybe thinks for a moment of a girl with the beauty of a star, and maybe he thinks for a moment of a girl who knew him by his colour, and never told him what it was.

And then the moments pass, and he is only watching Lucy again.

"It would be hard."

Her eyes are bright for a moment, and then she blinks them and they're not as she smiles at him.

"Right, mind you. She's good for him. He's good for her. I was happy for them, and I am. Sometimes I just--I wish anyway, I suppose."

"Wish it hadn't ended?"

There is, of course, that old tang of jealousy that arises whenever Lucy talks about Adam to Caspian, but it is very old, and not terribly strong, and he asks merely because he wants to understand.

And because, when all is said and done, Adam has married Alanna.

And Lucy has come home to him.

"Oh..." Lucy blows the hair out of her face as she thinks it over. "I don't know that I really wish it hadn't ended. I might never have been with you, after all. I just...wish I hadn't known what he was thinking when he ended it, wish I'd never gotten on a train," waving her hand, "to chase an apparition, wish I'd known I was dead and saved us both the grief. All sorts of things."

"I think," he replies, mock-seriously, "that it would rather certain that if you were still with Adam, you would not, in fact, be with me."

And then his smile fades a little, and he moves his hand to take one of hers.

"I wished that I'd arrived here sooner. Though it may not have made any difference, I suppose."

"And that," she laughs (but means it) "would be horrid. He snores more than you, for one."

She squeezes his hand and props herself up to look at him, smiling a little. "Oh, I don't know. Would you have told me you felt anything but friendship for me, anyway?"

His fingers lace through hers securely, and he looks thoughtful.

"I don't know. It seemed as though you didn't feel the same way, after all, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to intrude on your relationship with anyone else."

And he smiles, a little.

"And I wouldn't have met Ivy, then, either. And I'm not certain I would have wanted that, despite what happened after."

She squeezes his hand at that. "So perhaps it's good that you came when you did. Though I do wish," dryly, "you'd told me about her before I met her. And being married rather made you out of bounds, you know."