called_lioness | (no subject)

Everything is...not back to normal.

Because everything is different, now, so there may be something called normal, but it's not what was.

But she spoke with Edmund, and there are others she'll speak with, and she feels...she feels almost better. A little.

Except it's quiet in their room, and ever time she glances up from her book and sees Caspian her face goes bright red.

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From:

the_seafarer

The edges of his ears flush a brighter pink, and he ducks his head to grin at the floor.

"Well, it's Lilly. She--does that, with people."

But he looks back up at her next words, and lifts a hand a little helplessly. "How, by the Lion, are we to decide that? Unless you're thinking of going about and--and--I haven't any idea, striking people around the bar, I can't think of what that might be. What do you think might be beyone reason?"

From:

called_lioness

Lucy firmly reaches out with her free hand and moves his head so he can look at her. "She's Lilly. But I'm me," she says, softly, "and I'm married to you. And even should I want to sleep with Lilly, I wouldn't. No one but you. And you need to know that."

Lucy...flushes. Not blushes, but flushes, because it means she has to think of things, and it's far, far too easy to, and that might be easy enough to see in her eyes as she stops to try and think of how to answer.

From:

the_seafarer

"...Lucy," he says, amused.

"What are you thinking of?"

From:

called_lioness

"I'm not--I just--"

She hates him, really, except for the way where she utterly doesn't.

"--Mary Lennox gave me a book," she says, rapidly.

From:

the_seafarer

"A book," he echoes, blankly.

"A book on...oh."

His face is suddenly brilliantly red.

"...Mary Lennox had it?"

From:

called_lioness

"Yes," she says, and it's a little choked as she covers her face with one hand.

"She thought I needed to be Aware of things and there's no such thing as too much knowledge and--such."

From:

the_seafarer

"But--she's only a child," he says, helplessly, as if that will somehow make this conversation begin to make sense.

"How--why--no."

He's shaking his head, slowly.

"Don't tell me, I'm sure I don't want to know anyway. But--the book. It helped?"

From:

called_lioness

"It gave me ideas," she mutters, and the floor must be very interesting.

From:

the_seafarer

"I hope they were at least good ideas," he says, rather amused.

Honestly, after a while, it's best just to accept the ridiculousness of the conversation.

"And I suppose they were well-informed."

From:

called_lioness

"I think some of them might be," Lucy says after a moment, still looking at the floor. "And they were, rather. It's--don't laugh at me?" Because she's trying, she is, but if he laughs she won't be able to.

From:

the_seafarer

"I promise," he says, sincerely. "I shan't laugh. What is it?"

From:

called_lioness

She sighs and pushes her hair back, and this time she looks at him.

Because he promised. And because if she tells anyone, it would be him, and there's nothing she shouldn't be able to tell him.

Even if it's awkward.

"I like tasting you," she says, honestly. "I like to be in control--and I know you do, and it's fine when you are, but when you let me....I just--it feels better that way, for one." And she's flushed, but she's not looking away, at least.

From:

the_seafarer

He certainly isn't laughing. Neither is he looking terribly surprised by this confession, nor upset by it.

"All right," gently. "I think I understand that."

"I rather liked it, too," he adds, watching her hands before lifting his eyes to her face.

From:

called_lioness

"You don't, entirely," and it's a little wry, but she's okay with that. Because he understands at least some.

And she has to blink, a little. "You did?"

From:

the_seafarer

He doesn't argue with her--for all he knows she's right--and moves instead to her question, which he can answer with a smile.

"Aye. Quite a lot. Is that so surprising?"

From:

called_lioness

"A little," she admits. "You--it's almost always you, I mean. I didn't think you would." Except she should, she allows, have known from just remembering his face.

From:

the_seafarer

"I don't see why not," he says, reasonably. "Aye, it's different. But still--it's with you, isn't it?"

From:

called_lioness

"It is," and her makes her face lighten a little more.

"I don't know. I thought--if it feels better for me that way, it likely would for you as well."

From:

the_seafarer

He lifts his shoulders and drops them, thoughtful.

"Better? Mayhap. Different, aye. I like that you like it, Lu. Very much."

From:

called_lioness

She grins, a little, if at her hands again now.

"Better," she admits, "for me." But she'd rather have the way that's better for him, really. "And--well. I do like it." She wouldn't have tried it, truly, nor other things, if not for Mary's book.

She doesn't want to think on that one too much.

From:

the_seafarer

"Well, then."

That seems to clinch it for Caspian, who looks rather unsure as to what he ought to say next.

"Then--that's fine, isn't it?"

From:

called_lioness

"I don't know," she laughs, and at least she's laughing. "I know I like it, and I know I like to taste you, and I know I like to see you try and be still and be unable to, and I know I like you and think I'd like other things if it were with you. But that's all I know. And I barely know that."

She shrugs and pushes her hair back behind her ear. "We don't talk about this, you know. I always thought that--that whatever happened was just what happened and it wouldn't be so very different. And I know more than one girl who never truly enjoyed herself when she shared a bed with someone, and I think I was more prepared for that than this."

From:

the_seafarer

"I'd never want that," he tells her, and he's suddenly very earnest.

"I never thought we'd be talking quite so--candidly--but, Lu, if ever you are unhappy with--with this in any way, I hope you'll tell me. Embarassing though it might be.

"Perhaps those other girls were right, but if I have my way, it never will happen to you."

From:

called_lioness

She winces, a little.

Because he's earnest, and he means it, and she just--can't, she doesn't think.

"I don't know that I can do that," she admits after a moment, because she tries to be honest and is working harder at being so tonight than she even normally is. "I don't know how."

From:

the_seafarer

He doesn't reply right away, but there's only one thing that he can say to her after such a confession. "All right."

It isn't, quite--but he hasn't any idea how he would go about saying anything of the sort to her, either. And it's more all right than it isn't.